Bioinformatician are not anti-social; We are just genome friendly.

Bioinformatician would love to change the biological world, but they won't give us the genetic code :P

If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0

The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty: it's actually have several genomes.

I'm BioGeek.

Fedup with LIPS, try God script.

Idiot, Go ahead, make my data!

Thank god, my genome just compiled.

Error message: "Out of space on genome drive:"

Shut up mobile elements, or i'll flush you out.

Never underestimate the internet bandwidth, u gotta incomplete.

Applied fuzzy logic to understand God's logic?

Warning! Overflow, delete chromosome !

Be nice to the BioGeek, for all you know they might be the next curator!

Beware of computational biologist they screw genes and protein.

Warning! Your genome is full of garbage, delete it !

Bad or missing mouse genome. Spank the cat? (Y/N)

Genome make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

Let's BLAST it.

Some genome never has transposons. It just develops random features.

Go watch CINEMA and have BLAST.

2. In some perl script I found this
 . . . . . .
 . . . . . .
# It works for me, only God understood how it is working
while (/(<\/[^>]+>)|(<[^>]+>)|(<[^>]+>)$|([^><]+)/go) {
            $startGene=$1;
            $beginChromosome=$2;
    
. . . . . .
 .. . . . . .
}

3. One more interesting message in Perl found …. It will must tickle you bone :)
open(my $fh, "<", "gene.txt")    or kill " Me if you think this is a mistake :$!";

4. From the Perl

  while () {  # "The Mothership Connection is here!"
    print “$_\n”; # Printing the offspring :)

5. Perl message
if ($1) { print “Just found a the error in chromosome !!!, yahoo…”; else { “That is not error, but mutation you moron!”;

6. One genome database curator walk in wine bar asked the bartender:
CREATE TABLE gene IF NOT EXISTS SexOnTheBeach;

A: He was getting too Sassy.

What did the bioinformatician say when he found out his team stopped using version control?

A: Y’all better Git!

Why did the computational biologist stay home from work?

A: He had a code!

Why was the bioinformatician's paper was rejected?

A: Journal thought it seemed scripted.

How can you tell that a Bioinformatics is working?

A: You can hear him Grunting!

Why bioinformatician always silence?

A: Because bioinformatician calmly whisper, “SSH”

Why was the bioinformatician always so sleepy?

A: He/She wasn’t given any Java.

Why did the program/software hanged?

A: Because genome float.

Why was the class upset that its parent died?

A: Because it wouldn’t be getting the inheritance!

Why did bioinformatician always works on the command line?

A: Because they don't want to scare you with huge amount of data!

Why did the bioinformatician attend the gay pride parade?

A: They supported polymorphism.

Why did bioinformatician prefer awk, PerlOneliner?

A: Because even computer can't handle to load the data.

Why don’t bioinformatician get along with others?

A: They’re too MEAN.

Why computational biologist are cool?

A: Because they are scripted!!

Why they talk $ unzip; strip; touch; finger; grep; mount; fsck; more; yes; fsck; fsck; umount; clean; sleep;

A: Ah, Ohhh, dude, these are *NIX commands

Did they really hack genome?

A: Yes, I guess so.

Now my main interests are in gene regulation, where we work on promoter analysis; non-coding RNA, where miRNAs and structure prediction are the main areas; and protein structure, where the group is working on methods for structure prediction from sequence. To read more about these topics, please see the research pages.

Lab page @ http://wiki.binf.ku.dk/User:Krogh

The course Bioinformatics Algorithms (Part 1) by Pavel Pevzner, Phillip E. C. Compeau, and Nikolay Vyahhi from University of California, San Diego will be offered free of charge to everyone on the Coursera platform. Sign up at http://www.coursera.org/course/bioinformatics.

Lab page @ http://krishna.gs.washington.edu/index.html

(A) Regulatory System Analysis with respect to microRNAs

(B) Computational Epigenomics & Regulomics:

(C) Computational issues with Next Generation Sequencing:

Department of Biotechnology,
Institute of Himalyan Bioresources Technology
CSIR, Palampur(Himachal Pradesh), India.
Email: ravishihbt.res.in; ravish9gmail.com

More @ http://scbb.ihbt.res.in/SCBB_dept/Lab_Member.php

More @ http://www.bioinf.manchester.ac.uk/dbbrowser/index.php

1. Project Junior Research Fellow / Project Assistant

Last Date: 11th Nov 2013

Qualification B.Tech (Comp. Sci.), B.Tech/M.Tech (Bioinformatics), MCA, M.Sc. (Mathematics/Statistics)

Desirable Qualifications: Programming in FORTRAN/ C /PERL, Web application technologies

Upper Age limit 28

Rs.12000 / Rs.16000 (as sanctioned by the funding agency)

General terms and conditions:

Positions are purely temporary and co-terminus with the project.

HRDG (CSIR) prevailing guidelines are applicable these positions.

All categories of applicants are required to submit online application.

Enhancement of stipend to Project JRF to Project SRF will be with the due recommendation of Principal Investigator and approval of the Director on the evaluation of the 3 member Standing Committee consisting of Chairperson at the level of Chief Scientist, Coordinator of the JRFs/RAs/PDFs and the Principal Investigator of the Project.

The age relaxation as per HRDG (CSIR) norms: SC/ST/OBC/Women/Physically Handicapped persons – five years.

The Stipend normally be fixed at Rs.22000/- for Research Associates/Post Doc. Fellows. However, a selected RA/PDF may be placed in the higher start of stipend if there is ample justification and such recommendation is made by the Selection Committee. Based on the recommendation with justification by the PI and approval of the Director, person getting stipend at lower rate may be elevated to higher rate subject to availability of the funds in the project.

Recruitment will be based on initial screening based on qualifications and experience criteria and also based on suitability of the candidates to the nature of research project. This screening will be followed by written test followed / interview. After completing this process, candidates will be shortlisted and appointed in specific project subjects as and when appropriate positions become available. The pool of selected candidates will be valid for six months.

Remunerations indicate are maximum admissible and will depend upon the availability of funds and subject to conditions applicable to projects from different funding agencies at the time of recruitment.

Apply : http://www.ccmb.res.in/positions/projects/temp_positions.php

Form download : http://www.ccmb.res.in/positions/projects/oct-2013/pdf_download.php