Bioinformatician are not anti-social; We are just genome friendly.

Bioinformatician would love to change the biological world, but they won't give us the genetic code :P

If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0

The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty: it's actually have several genomes.

I'm BioGeek.

Fedup with LIPS, try God script.

Idiot, Go ahead, make my data!

Thank god, my genome just compiled.

Error message: "Out of space on genome drive:"

Shut up mobile elements, or i'll flush you out.

Never underestimate the internet bandwidth, u gotta incomplete.

Applied fuzzy logic to understand God's logic?

Warning! Overflow, delete chromosome !

Be nice to the BioGeek, for all you know they might be the next curator!

Beware of computational biologist they screw genes and protein.

Warning! Your genome is full of garbage, delete it !

Bad or missing mouse genome. Spank the cat? (Y/N)

Genome make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

Let's BLAST it.

Some genome never has transposons. It just develops random features.

Go watch CINEMA and have BLAST.

2. In some perl script I found this
 . . . . . .
 . . . . . .
# It works for me, only God understood how it is working
while (/(<\/[^>]+>)|(<[^>]+>)|(<[^>]+>)$|([^><]+)/go) {
            $startGene=$1;
            $beginChromosome=$2;
    
. . . . . .
 .. . . . . .
}

3. One more interesting message in Perl found …. It will must tickle you bone :)
open(my $fh, "<", "gene.txt")    or kill " Me if you think this is a mistake :$!";

4. From the Perl

  while () {  # "The Mothership Connection is here!"
    print “$_\n”; # Printing the offspring :)

5. Perl message
if ($1) { print “Just found a the error in chromosome !!!, yahoo…”; else { “That is not error, but mutation you moron!”;

6. One genome database curator walk in wine bar asked the bartender:
CREATE TABLE gene IF NOT EXISTS SexOnTheBeach;

A: He was getting too Sassy.

What did the bioinformatician say when he found out his team stopped using version control?

A: Y’all better Git!

Why did the computational biologist stay home from work?

A: He had a code!

Why was the bioinformatician's paper was rejected?

A: Journal thought it seemed scripted.

How can you tell that a Bioinformatics is working?

A: You can hear him Grunting!

Why bioinformatician always silence?

A: Because bioinformatician calmly whisper, “SSH”

Why was the bioinformatician always so sleepy?

A: He/She wasn’t given any Java.

Why did the program/software hanged?

A: Because genome float.

Why was the class upset that its parent died?

A: Because it wouldn’t be getting the inheritance!

Why did bioinformatician always works on the command line?

A: Because they don't want to scare you with huge amount of data!

Why did the bioinformatician attend the gay pride parade?

A: They supported polymorphism.

Why did bioinformatician prefer awk, PerlOneliner?

A: Because even computer can't handle to load the data.

Why don’t bioinformatician get along with others?

A: They’re too MEAN.

Why computational biologist are cool?

A: Because they are scripted!!

Why they talk $ unzip; strip; touch; finger; grep; mount; fsck; more; yes; fsck; fsck; umount; clean; sleep;

A: Ah, Ohhh, dude, these are *NIX commands

Did they really hack genome?

A: Yes, I guess so.

No of vacancies: 01

Pay scale:Rs. 15600 – 39100 + 6600/-

Essential Academic Qualifications / Experience : Good academic record as defined by the concerned university with at least 55% marks (or an equivalent grade in a point scale wherever grading system is followed) at the Master's Degree level in a relevant subject from an Indian University, or an equivalent degree from an accredited foreign university.

Besides fulfilling the above qualifications, the candidate must have cleared the National Eligibility Test (NET) conducted by the UGC, CSIR or similar test accredited by the UGC like SLET/ SET.

Notwithstanding anything contained in sub-clauses (a) and (b) to this Clause, candidates, who are, or have been awarded a Ph.D. Degree in accordance with the University Grants Commission (Minimum Standards and Procedure for Award of Ph.D. Degree) Regulations, 2009, shall be exempted from the requirement of the minimum eligibility condition of NET/SLET/SET for recruitment and appointment of Assistant Professor or equivalent positions in Universities/Colleges/Institutions.

NET/SLET/SET shall also not be required for such Masters Programmes in disciplines for which NET/SLET/SET is not conducted.

Apply online: http://www.psc.cg.gov.in/htm/OA_ME2014.html

Last Date for Online Registration: 22/05/2014

For more details: http://www.psc.cg.gov.in/pdf/Advertisement/ADV_ME2014.pdf

More at http://www.ploscompbiol.org/article/info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pcbi.1000369

Address of the bookmark: http://www.ploscompbiol.org/article/info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pcbi.1000369

ICRISAT seeks applications from Indian nationals Visiting Scientist-Computational Genomics (2 positions), to be part of a team of Centre of Excellence in Genomics (CEG), (www.icrisat.org/ceg) to work on legume genomics projects. The positions will be based at ICRISAT’s Headquarters in Patancheru, Hyderabad, India.

ICRISAT is a non-profit, non-political organization that conducts agricultural research for development in Asia and sub-Saharan Africa with a wide array of partners throughout the world. Covering 6.5 million square kilometers of land in 55 countries, the semi-arid tropics is home to over 2 billion people, with 650 million of these are the poorest of the poor. ICRISAT and its partners help empower those living in the semi-arid tropics, especially smallholder farmers, to overcome poverty, hunger, malnutrition and a degraded environment through more efficient and profitable agriculture. ICRISAT is headquartered in Greater Hyderabad, Andhra Pradesh, India and belongs to the Consortium of Centers supported by the Consultative Group on International Agricultural Research (CGIAR).

The Job: Responsibilities for these positions include:

Analyzing and handling large-scale next generation sequencing DNA and RNA data
Data mining and development of pipelines and troubleshooting
Genome diversity analysis such as SNPs, Indels, Structural Variations, population structure
Genome wide association study (GWAS) related analysis- LD analysis, hapmap and trait mapping
Expression analysis based on RNA-Seq data, annotation, gene ontology and metabolic pathway analysis
Epigenome analysis, small RNA identification
Gene family analysis, sequence level protein analysis, orthology/paralogy and molecular modelling
Compiling and analysis of results, writing reports and research papers

The Person: Ph.D. or MSc/MTech/PGDCA with two years research experience in Biotechnology, Computational biology, Agricultural/ Plant Biotechnology, Genetics, Molecular Biology or related discipline. Good knowledge of programming/scripting in at least two of following languages: Perl, C, C++, R, Shell Scripting and Python is plus.

How to apply: Please apply latest by 20 July 2014. The application should include the name of the position applied for, a letter of motivation, a full Curriculum Vita (CV), and the names and contact information of three references that are knowledgeable of the candidate’s professional qualifications and work experience. Technical details and more information about these positions can be obtained from R.K.VARSHNEY@CGIAR.ORG. All applications will be acknowledged, however only short listed candidates will be contacted.

Apply here https://recruit.zoho.com/ats/Portal.na?digest=T642sgLYWZOStExJ77cPrcM*sIMGZETWw4yPxngbmHA-

Address of the bookmark: http://www.programmingr.com/category/stype/r-job-listings/

Perl one-liners are small and awesome Perl programs that fit in a single line of code and they do one thing really well. These things include changing line spacing, numbering lines, doing calculations, converting and substituting text, deleting and printing certain lines, parsing logs, editing files in-place, doing statistics, carrying out system administration tasks, updating a bunch of files at once, and many more. Perl one-liners will make you the shell warrior. Anything that took you minutes to solve, will now take you seconds!

perl -pe '$\="\n"'   
#double space a file

perl -pe '$_ .= "\n" unless /^$/'
#double space a file except blank lines

perl -pe '$_.="\n"x7'
#7 space in a line.

perl -ne 'print unless /^$/'
#remove all blank lines

perl -lne 'print if length($_) < 20'
#print all lines with length less than 20.

perl -00 -pe ''
#If there are multiple spaces, delete all leaving one(make the file a single spaced file).

perl -00 -pe '$_.="\n"x4'
#Expand single blank lines into 4 consecutive blank lines

perl -pe '$_ = "$. $_"'
#Number all lines in a file

perl -pe '$_ = ++$a." $_" if /./'
#Number only non-empty lines in a file

perl -ne 'print ++$a." $_" if /./'
#Number and print only non-empty lines in a file

perl -pe '$_ = ++$a." $_" if /regex/'
#Number only lines that match a pattern

perl -ne 'print ++$a." $_" if /regex/'
#Number and print only lines that match a pattern

perl -ne 'printf "%-5d %s", $., $_ if /regex/'
#Left align lines with 5 white spaces if matches a pattern (perl -ne 'printf "%-5d %s", $., $_' : for all the lines)

perl -le 'print scalar(grep{/./}<>)'
#prints the total number of non-empty lines in a file

perl -lne '$a++ if /regex/; END {print $a+0}'
#print the total number of lines that matches the pattern

perl -alne 'print scalar @F'
#print the total number fields(words) in each line.

perl -alne '$t += @F; END { print $t}'
#Find total number of words in the file

perl -alne 'map { /regex/ && $t++ } @F; END { print $t }'
#find total number of fields that match the pattern

perl -lne '/regex/ && $t++; END { print $t }'
#Find total number of lines that match a pattern

perl -le '$n = 20; $m = 35; ($m,$n) = ($n,$m%$n) while $n; print $m'
#will calculate the GCD of two numbers.

perl -le '$a = $n = 20; $b = $m = 35; ($m,$n) = ($n,$m%$n) while $n; print $a*$b/$m'
#will calculate lcd of 20 and 35.

perl -le '$n=10; $min=5; $max=15; $, = " "; print map { int(rand($max-$min))+$min } 1..$n'
#Generates 10 random numbers between 5 and 15.

perl -le 'print map { ("a".."z",”0”..”9”)[rand 36] } 1..8'
#Generates a 8 character password from a to z and number 0 – 9.

perl -le 'print map { ("a",”t”,”g”,”c”)[rand 4] } 1..20'
#Generates a 20 nucleotide long random residue.

perl -le 'print "a"x50'
#generate a string of ‘x’ 50 character long

perl -le 'print join ", ", map { ord } split //, "hello world"'
#Will print the ascii value of the string hello world.

perl -le '@ascii = (99, 111, 100, 105, 110, 103); print pack("C*", @ascii)'
#converts ascii values into character strings.

perl -le '@odd = grep {$_ % 2 == 1} 1..100; print "@odd"'
#Generates an array of odd numbers.

perl -le '@even = grep {$_ % 2 == 0} 1..100; print "@even"'
#Generate an array of even numbers

perl -lpe 'y/A-Za-z/N-ZA-Mn-za-m/' file
#Convert the entire file into 13 characters offset(ROT13)

perl -nle 'print uc'
#Convert all text to uppercase:

perl -nle 'print lc'
#Convert text to lowercase:

perl -nle 'print ucfirst lc'
#Convert only first letter of first word to uppercas

perl -ple 'y/A-Za-z/a-zA-Z/'
#Convert upper case to lower case and vice versa

perl -ple 's/(\w+)/\u$1/g'
#Camel Casing

perl -pe 's|\n|\r\n|'
#Convert unix new lines into DOS new lines:

perl -pe 's|\r\n|\n|'
#Convert DOS newlines into unix new line

perl -pe 's|\n|\r|'
#Convert unix newlines into MAC newlines:

perl -pe '/regexp/ && s/foo/bar/'
#Substitute a foo with a bar in a line with a regexp.

Reference/Sources:

http://genomics-array.blogspot.in/2010/11/some-unixperl-oneliners-for.html

http://genomespot.blogspot.com/2013/08/a-selection-of-useful-bash-one-liners.html

http://biowize.wordpress.com/2012/06/15/command-line-magic-for-your-gene-annotations/

http://genomics-array.blogspot.com/2010/11/some-unixperl-oneliners-for.html

http://bioexpressblog.wordpress.com/2013/04/05/split-multi-fasta-sequence-file/