BOL: Related items

BioGeek Fun

Jit — Sun, 16 Mar 2014 06:33:31 -0500

1. A futuristic computational biology student was told to write "It is in my gene!!!" on the board 100 times as a punishment. here's his response -

use warnings;
for ($count=1; $count <=100; $count++) { print "It is in my gene!!!";}

I guess, he is gonna to be a real biogeek. Nice try though. Smart kid.

2. In some perl script I found this
. . . . . .
. . . . . .
# It works for me, only God understood how it is working
while (/(<\/[^>]+>)|(<[^>]+>)|(<[^>]+>)$|([^><]+)/go) {
            $startGene=$1;
            $beginChromosome=$2;

. . . . . .
.. . . . . .
}

3. One more interesting message in Perl found …. It will must tickle you bone :)
open(my $fh, "<", "gene.txt") or kill " Me if you think this is a mistake :$!";

4. From the Perl

while () { # "The Mothership Connection is here!"
print “$_\n”; # Printing the offspring :)

5. Perl message
if ($1) { print “Just found a the error in chromosome !!!, yahoo…”; else { “That is not error, but mutation you moron!”;

6. One genome database curator walk in wine bar asked the bartender:
CREATE TABLE gene IF NOT EXISTS SexOnTheBeach;

A Bioinformatician’s Lament

LEGE — Thu, 29 May 2025 01:33:31 -0500

"I have a presentation tomorrow," they say,

With hopeful eyes, like it’s all child's play.
As if results bloom overnight, full-grown—
Not wrangled from chaos, and error-prone.

Oh brave soul, sit, let’s walk through the tale,
Of pipelines broken and servers that fail.
The journey starts: “The data? It’s there—
Just fetch it from S3, easy, I swear.”

Now I summon awscli with dread,
Reset my keys, credentials fed.
Configure regions, IAM roles too—
All this, and still no peek at the view.

Next up, the tool: “It’s open source!”
On GitHub, rotting, no sign of remorse.
Python 2.7, some GCC trick—
The install alone might make you sick.

Finally, progress! The pipeline runs…
Till RAM collapses and error stuns.
Oh, and the metadata? A crime,
Merged cells, font soup, out of time.

Sample IDs—what a cryptic game:
Sample_1, S1, sample-1... the same?
Controls mislabeled, cases flipped,
No wonder my sanity's starting to slip.

Then QC plots, PCA joy—
Wait, that’s a tumor labeled as a boy?
Clusters cross, and axes lie,
And I still don’t know which sample’s "guy."

But the clock ticks on, and it’s half-past doom,
They want the final UMAP soon.
With pastel colors, labeled clear—
"Can we move that legend to right here?"

Tweak by tweak, I adjust each frame,
Resize Panel B, annotate a name.
Export the plot—it starts to gleam…
Then my laptop crashes. I scream.

This is the grind, the long-haul game,
Where science hides behind code and flame.
No “Export to Nature” button to press,
Just toil and logic and hope for success.

So next time you whisper that fated line—
“I have a talk, can you make it shine?”
Know: bioinformatics is craft, not a click,
It’s science with scars, not just a quick fix.

To all who debug at 3AM light,
Who ghostwrite figures through sleepless night—
You are the backbone, silent and true,
First-author-worthy, if only they knew.

"कल मेरी प्रेज़ेंटेशन है," वो कहते हैं,

आशा भरी आँखों से, जैसे सब सहज है।
जैसे परिणाम रातोंरात प्रकट हो जाएं—
ना कि डेटा की भूलभुलैया से उखाड़े जाएं।

आओ बैठो, एक किस्सा सुनाता हूँ,
जहाँ पाइपलाइन टूटती है, और सर्वर भी थक जाते हैं।
कहानी शुरू होती है: “डेटा तो है—
बस S3 बकेट में, एकदम पास में कहीं।”

अब awscli बुलाता हूँ डरते हुए,
कुंजी सेट करूँ, क्रेडेंशियल जोड़ूं, रीजन भरूँ।
इतनी मशक्कत, फिर भी डेटा नहीं मिला,
बस सेटअप में ही पूरा दिन चला।

फिर आता है टूल: “ओपन-सोर्स है!”
GitHub पर है, 2019 से सूखा पड़ा है।
Python 2.7 चाहिए, एक पुराना कम्पाइलर,
और साथ में थोड़ी सी दुआ की ताकत।

आख़िरकार टूल चला, खुशी सी हुई,
लेकिन रन करते ही, मेमोरी ने हार मानी।
और मेटाडेटा? एक एक्सेल की आफ़त,
मर्ज़ किए हुए सेल, बस और क्या चाहिए काफ़ियत?

सैंपल आईडी? बस भगवान ही जाने—
Sample_1, sample-1, S1, और control1—
ये सब एक ही सैंपल हैं क्या?
पता तब चलता है जब पूछो दो-तीन बार।

काउंट मैट्रिक्स तैयार, अब R या Python की बारी,
QC करो, PCA प्लॉट—पर कुछ गड़बड़ भारी।
ट्यूमर और नॉर्मल का अदला-बदली खेल,
बार-बार, वही पुरानी झमेल।

आख़िर में आया मॉडलिंग का समय,
स्टैट्स, प्लॉट्स, डिफरेंशियल एक्सप्रेशन का श्रम।
लेकिन घड़ी में 5 बज चुके हैं जनाब,
और 8 बजे तक UMAP चाहिए, साफ़-सुथरा जबाब।

तो मैं कोड लिखता हूँ रात भर बैठ कर,
कलर पैलेट, जीन लेबल, लीजेंड बाहर रख कर।
फ़ॉन्ट, पैनल, एक्सिस सब सुधार,
एक्सपोर्ट करता हूँ... और लैपटॉप कहता है—"अब नहीं यार!"

इसीलिए बायोइन्फॉर्मेटिक्स में लगता है समय,
ये “बस सीरत चलाओ” या “वोल्कैनो प्लॉट बनाओ” नहीं है।
ये है सिस्टम एडमिन का काम, डेटा की सफ़ाई,
QC, डिबगिंग, और सांइस की सच्ची लड़ाई।

तो कुछ सीखें इस व्यथा से आप भी आज:
24 घंटे पहले चमत्कार मत माँगिए।
अच्छे फ़िगर साफ़ डेटा से बनते हैं।
बायोइन्फॉर्मेटिक्स जादू नहीं, विज्ञान है।
समय से बात कीजिए, प्रक्रिया का सम्मान कीजिए।

और उन सभी बायोइन्फॉर्मेटिशियनों को सलाम,
जो दूसरों की प्रेज़ेंटेशन के लिए रातों में जागते हैं—
तुम हो फ़िगर्स के भूत लेखक,
तुम हो बिना नाम के सह-लेखक।
तुम पहले लेखक बनने के हक़दार हो—
और एक लंबी नींद के भी।

Note: Written with the help of AI/LLM Tools !

Bioinformatician on Valentine's Day

BioQueen — Sun, 14 Feb 2021 11:36:32 -0600

Once asked to a bioinformatician "How is ur Valentine's Day?"

Bioinformatician replied:
if ($date == "Valentine's Day" && $me =! Bioinformatician) {
rose_day(); promise_day(); kiss_day();
}
else {
hack_genome(); ko-fi(); youtube(); do_scripting(); sleep();
)

CV of Dr. Pranjal Chandra

Pranjal Chandra PhD — Wed, 04 Sep 2013 11:15:25 -0500

Giovanni Parmigiani Lab

Fri, 20 Sep 2013 13:21:41 -0500

Scientific Interests:

Models and software for predicting who is at risk of carrying genetic variants that confer susceptibility to cancer. Application to breast, ovarian, colorectal, pancreatic and skin cancer.

Statistical methods for the analysis of high throughput genomic data: analysis of cancer genome sequencing projects; integration of genomic information across technologies; cross-study validation of genomics results.

Statistical methods for comparative effectiveness research: comprehensive models for lifetime history of chronic disease outcomes; Bayesian meta-analysis; Bayesian causal inference; decision analysis.

Bayesian modeling and computation: multilevel models; decision theoretic approaches to inference; sequential experimental design and their application to adaptive and multistage studies in clinical and epidemiological research.

http://bcb.dfci.harvard.edu/~gp/index.html

http://scholar.google.com/citations?user=OlpYP3UAAAAJ&hl=en

PhD opportunity at Université de Liège - Belgium

Sat, 02 Aug 2014 01:12:43 -0500

PhD opportunity at Université de Liège - Belgium

The Bioinformatics and Systems Biology Unit of Université de Liège (Belgium) is looking for a highly motivated master student with programming skills for a PhD thesis project (4 years, fully funded) with the goal of designing computational tools that use literature, genomic and structural data in order to infer regulatory and metabolic networks.

Applicants are invited to send their resume and a recommendation letter to Prof. Patrick Meyer (more details at www.biosys.ulg.ac.be )

For more information : www.biosys.ulg.ac.be

Interview with a bioinformatician series ...

Jitendra Narayan — Sat, 27 Dec 2014 13:30:15 -0600

The aim of this series to interviews some notable bioinformaticians to get their views on various aspects of bioinformatics research. Hopefully these answers will prove useful to others in the field, especially to those who are just starting their bioinformatics careers.

This series will be available at BOL every fortnight.

Cancer research database

Neel — Tue, 01 Sep 2015 17:36:31 -0500

Researchers in Andhra Pradesh have developed a database to identify genes that are common in tumours to provide their colleagues with easy access to insights into the genetic alterations in cancer.

The database, hosted at the Sri Venkateswara University (SVU) in Tirupati, will integrate information on cancer genes and markers with experimental data.

The Cancer Gene Markers Database (CGMD) is meant to help scientists better understand tumour genes and markers at a molecular level by combining data with literature on treatment regimen and recent advances in cancer therapy.

The database is free to access, and already includes 309 genes and 206 markers that correspond to 40 different human cancers. Accompanying literature comes from databases such as the United States’ National Center for Biotechnology Information and the Kyoto Encyclopedia of Genes and Genomes. It also includes experimental data from PubMed.

In a paper published last month in Nature Scientific Reports, the researchers from SVU’s department of animal biotechnology, describes the need for a database for different genes and markers along with their molecular characteristics and pathway associations.

BUSCO

Jitendra Narayan — Sun, 07 Feb 2016 16:02:39 -0600

Assessing genome assembly and annotation completeness with Benchmarking Universal Single-Copy Orthologs

More at http://busco.ezlab.org/

Address of the bookmark: http://busco.ezlab.org/

Project Assistant/Junior Research Fellow Position at Centre of Biomedical Research, Sanjay Gandhi Postgraduate Institute of Medical Sciences Campus, Lucknow.

Mon, 23 May 2016 01:31:29 -0500

Applications are invited from eligible candidates willing to join in a Department of Science and Technology (DST) project entitled “"Mapping neural regions involved in reading process in skilled adult Deaf reader: From neuroimaging perspective (functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging (fMRI) and Diffuse Tensor Imaging (DTI.)" as a Project Assistant/Junior Research Fellow (JRF) at Centre of Biomedical Research, Sanjay Gandhi Postgraduate Institute of Medical Sciences Campus, Lucknow.

Essential Qualification:

1. Master's degree in Bioinformatics / Computer Applications / Cognitive Science /Neuroscience/ Neuropsychology or equivalent. (Advantage will be given to NET JRF qualified candidate) Additional

Desirable Skills:

1) Programming skills (e.g., C++, Matlab, Python) 2) Experience/competent in working Window and Linux based programme.

Please mail your CV and covering letter to dr.uttam.kumar@gmail.com.

To know more about lab works please visit http://uttambrainlab.co.in/lab/.

Last date: 15/06/16

Advertisement: http://cbmr.res.in/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Advertisement-19-5-2016.pdf