"I have a presentation tomorrow," they say,

With hopeful eyes, like it’s all child's play.
As if results bloom overnight, full-grown—
Not wrangled from chaos, and error-prone.

Oh brave soul, sit, let’s walk through the tale,
Of pipelines broken and servers that fail.
The journey starts: “The data? It’s there—
Just fetch it from S3, easy, I swear.”

Now I summon awscli with dread,
Reset my keys, credentials fed.
Configure regions, IAM roles too—
All this, and still no peek at the view.

Next up, the tool: “It’s open source!”
On GitHub, rotting, no sign of remorse.
Python 2.7, some GCC trick—
The install alone might make you sick.

Finally, progress! The pipeline runs…
Till RAM collapses and error stuns.
Oh, and the metadata? A crime,
Merged cells, font soup, out of time.

Sample IDs—what a cryptic game:
Sample_1, S1, sample-1... the same?
Controls mislabeled, cases flipped,
No wonder my sanity's starting to slip.

Then QC plots, PCA joy—
Wait, that’s a tumor labeled as a boy?
Clusters cross, and axes lie,
And I still don’t know which sample’s "guy."

But the clock ticks on, and it’s half-past doom,
They want the final UMAP soon.
With pastel colors, labeled clear—
"Can we move that legend to right here?"

Tweak by tweak, I adjust each frame,
Resize Panel B, annotate a name.
Export the plot—it starts to gleam…
Then my laptop crashes. I scream.

This is the grind, the long-haul game,
Where science hides behind code and flame.
No “Export to Nature” button to press,
Just toil and logic and hope for success.

So next time you whisper that fated line—
“I have a talk, can you make it shine?”
Know: bioinformatics is craft, not a click,
It’s science with scars, not just a quick fix.

To all who debug at 3AM light,
Who ghostwrite figures through sleepless night—
You are the backbone, silent and true,
First-author-worthy, if only they knew.

"कल मेरी प्रेज़ेंटेशन है," वो कहते हैं,

spades.py

SPAdes genome assembler v3.10.1

Usage: /usr/local/SPAdes-3.10.1-Linux/bin/spades.py [options] -o <output_dir>

Basic options:
-o      <output_dir>    directory to store all the resulting files (required)
--sc                    this flag is required for MDA (single-cell) data
--meta                  this flag is required for metagenomic sample data
--rna                   this flag is required for RNA-Seq data
--plasmid               runs plasmidSPAdes pipeline for plasmid detection
--iontorrent            this flag is required for IonTorrent data
--test                  runs SPAdes on toy dataset
-h/--help               prints this usage message
-v/--version            prints version

Input data:
--12    <filename>      file with interlaced forward and reverse paired-end reads
-1      <filename>      file with forward paired-end reads
-2      <filename>      file with reverse paired-end reads
-s      <filename>      file with unpaired reads
--pe<#>-12      <filename>      file with interlaced reads for paired-end library number <#> (<#> = 1,2,..,9)
--pe<#>-1       <filename>      file with forward reads for paired-end library number <#> (<#> = 1,2,..,9)
--pe<#>-2       <filename>      file with reverse reads for paired-end library number <#> (<#> = 1,2,..,9)
--pe<#>-s       <filename>      file with unpaired reads for paired-end library number <#> (<#> = 1,2,..,9)
--pe<#>-<or>    orientation of reads for paired-end library number <#> (<#> = 1,2,..,9; <or> = fr, rf, ff)
--s<#>          <filename>      file with unpaired reads for single reads library number <#> (<#> = 1,2,..,9)
--mp<#>-12      <filename>      file with interlaced reads for mate-pair library number <#> (<#> = 1,2,..,9)
--mp<#>-1       <filename>      file with forward reads for mate-pair library number <#> (<#> = 1,2,..,9)
--mp<#>-2       <filename>      file with reverse reads for mate-pair library number <#> (<#> = 1,2,..,9)
--mp<#>-s       <filename>      file with unpaired reads for mate-pair library number <#> (<#> = 1,2,..,9)
--mp<#>-<or>    orientation of reads for mate-pair library number <#> (<#> = 1,2,..,9; <or> = fr, rf, ff)
--hqmp<#>-12    <filename>      file with interlaced reads for high-quality mate-pair library number <#> (<#> = 1,2,..,9)
--hqmp<#>-1     <filename>      file with forward reads for high-quality mate-pair library number <#> (<#> = 1,2,..,9)
--hqmp<#>-2     <filename>      file with reverse reads for high-quality mate-pair library number <#> (<#> = 1,2,..,9)
--hqmp<#>-s     <filename>      file with unpaired reads for high-quality mate-pair library number <#> (<#> = 1,2,..,9)
--hqmp<#>-<or>  orientation of reads for high-quality mate-pair library number <#> (<#> = 1,2,..,9; <or> = fr, rf, ff)
--nxmate<#>-1   <filename>      file with forward reads for Lucigen NxMate library number <#> (<#> = 1,2,..,9)
--nxmate<#>-2   <filename>      file with reverse reads for Lucigen NxMate library number <#> (<#> = 1,2,..,9)
--sanger        <filename>      file with Sanger reads
--pacbio        <filename>      file with PacBio reads
--nanopore      <filename>      file with Nanopore reads
--tslr  <filename>      file with TSLR-contigs
--trusted-contigs       <filename>      file with trusted contigs
--untrusted-contigs     <filename>      file with untrusted contigs

Pipeline options:
--only-error-correction runs only read error correction (without assembling)
--only-assembler        runs only assembling (without read error correction)
--careful               tries to reduce number of mismatches and short indels
--continue              continue run from the last available check-point
--restart-from  <cp>    restart run with updated options and from the specified check-point ('ec', 'as', 'k<int>', 'mc')
--disable-gzip-output   forces error correction not to compress the corrected reads
--disable-rr            disables repeat resolution stage of assembling

Advanced options:
--dataset       <filename>      file with dataset description in YAML format
-t/--threads    <int>           number of threads
                                [default: 16]
-m/--memory     <int>           RAM limit for SPAdes in Gb (terminates if exceeded)
                                [default: 250]
--tmp-dir       <dirname>       directory for temporary files
                                [default: <output_dir>/tmp]
-k              <int,int,...>   comma-separated list of k-mer sizes (must be odd and
                                less than 128) [default: 'auto']
--cov-cutoff    <float>         coverage cutoff value (a positive float number, or 'auto', or 'off') [default: 'off']
--phred-offset  <33 or 64>      PHRED quality offset in the input reads (33 or 64)
                                [default: auto-detect]

spades.py -t 4 \
          -m 32 \
          -k 31,51,71 \
          --only-assembler \
          -1 miseq.1.fastq -2 miseq.2.fastq \
          --nanopore minion.fastq \
          -o hybrid_assembly