A: He was getting too Sassy.

What did the bioinformatician say when he found out his team stopped using version control?

A: Y’all better Git!

Why did the computational biologist stay home from work?

A: He had a code!

Why was the bioinformatician's paper was rejected?

A: Journal thought it seemed scripted.

How can you tell that a Bioinformatics is working?

A: You can hear him Grunting!

Why bioinformatician always silence?

A: Because bioinformatician calmly whisper, “SSH”

Why was the bioinformatician always so sleepy?

A: He/She wasn’t given any Java.

Why did the program/software hanged?

A: Because genome float.

Why was the class upset that its parent died?

A: Because it wouldn’t be getting the inheritance!

Why did bioinformatician always works on the command line?

A: Because they don't want to scare you with huge amount of data!

Why did the bioinformatician attend the gay pride parade?

A: They supported polymorphism.

Why did bioinformatician prefer awk, PerlOneliner?

A: Because even computer can't handle to load the data.

Why don’t bioinformatician get along with others?

A: They’re too MEAN.

Why computational biologist are cool?

A: Because they are scripted!!

Why they talk $ unzip; strip; touch; finger; grep; mount; fsck; more; yes; fsck; fsck; umount; clean; sleep;

A: Ah, Ohhh, dude, these are *NIX commands

Did they really hack genome?

A: Yes, I guess so.

CDSA is pleased to announce a 4 days hands-on training program on “Essentials of Statistics and Data Analysis using R” at ICGEB, Aruna Asaf Ali Road, New Delhi on December 1 – 4, 2015. This will involve developing and enhancing skills to understand basic principles of statistics for summarizing data and use of appropriate statistical tests as well as providing an understanding of data analysis using R. Didactic lectures with practical sessions will be delivered by experienced faculties from AIIMS and Novartis. Live classroom with power point presentations, case studies, mock exercise, practical sessions on R, group work with time for discussion and Q&A sessions are added advantages of this workshop.

Please contact gayatrivishwakarma.cdsa@thsti.res.in or vineetabaloni.cdsa@thsti.res.in for program and registration details.

Please nominate personage or register yourself on or before November 6, 2015 along with the electronic transfer of registration fee.

 http://metapred2cs.ibers.aber.ac.uk/

Address of the bookmark: https://github.com/martinjvickers/MetaPred2CS

(Reaccredited by NAAC with ‘A’ grade)

TIRUCHIRAPPALLI - 620 024

I N V I T E S

APPLICATIONS FOR FACULTY POSITIONS UNDER UGC XII PLAN CREATED POSTS ON CONTRACTUAL BASIS TILL 31.03.2017 IN THE FOLLOWING UNIVERSITY DEPARTMENTS. (Notification No. 31300 /H2/2015, Dt.: 18.09.2015)

ASSISTANT PROFESSOR

1. Bio-Informatics ONE (MBC)

2. Bio-Chemistry ONE G.T.(W)DW

Consolidated Pay of Rs.45,000/- p.m.

Qualification : As per UGC/AICTE/NCTE norms

Application along with other details including specialization can be downloaded from the University website www.bdu.ac.in

LAST DATE FOR RECEIPT OF FILLED IN APPLICATION IS 07.10.2015 BY 5.00 P.M.

More Info : www.bdu.ac.in/adv/UGC_XII_Plan_Contract_Positions.pdf

Project Title : "Structural and functional characterization of serine biosynthetic pathway enzymes from Entamoeba histolytica"

No. of Post : 01

Qualification : Ph.D in any computational biology / bioinformatics

Desirable : 1. Experience with docking, simulations and structural biology with proof of publications is preferred. 2. National Eligibility Test cleared [CSIR/UGC] candidate is preferred.

Salary : According to CSIR rules
How to apply

The application on plain paper indicating name, date of birth/age, address, essential/technical/professional qualifications. experience, list of publications should reach The Prof. S. Gourinath, Principal Investigator, [Project Director], School of Life Sciences, Jawaharlal Nehru University, New Delhi-110067, on or before 23rd May 2016.

More at http://www.jnu.ac.in/Career/currentjobs.htm

Eligibility : Pursuing final year of M.Sc./M.Tech.

Subject category for training : I. Agricultural biotechnology II. Computational biology and bioinformatics III. Food Science & Technology IV. Nutrition Science & Technology

Duration of Training : 6 months (January to June 2016)

Selection Procedure : Through screening and selection based on merit, experience, and expression of interest submitted by candidates
How to apply

The last date of application to reach NABI latest by November 30, 2015 by 5:30 PM

More at http://www.nabi.res.in/Training.aspx

Project entitled: "Establish of Bioinformatics Facility for biology teaching through bioinformatics"

Name of post: Research Associate /Trainees

Number of post: 03

Educational Qualification and Experience: Candidates should have Ph D in relevant subjects with experience in handling computational biology resources and software

Selection mode: Walk in interview

How to apply?
Interested and eligible candidates may appear for a walk-in interview on 14th November 2015 at 11.00 am, in the office of Director, Centre for Bioinformatics along with CV and attested copies of all testimonials and additional qualifications.

Recruitment reference: http://www.mdurohtak.ac.in/pdf/career/adv_research_asso_dbt_bioinfo.pdf

Rajiv Gandhi Centre for Biotechnology (RGCB) invites applications for the following three faculty scientist positions:

Scientist G in any of the following disciplines of disease biology: Cancer Research/Cardiovascular Biology/Diabetes Biology/Pathogen Biology
Scientist E-II or F in Bioinformatics & Computational Biology
Scientist E-I or E-II in Cancer Research with special emphasis on Human Papillomavirus Research

More at http://rgcb.res.in/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/APPLICATION-FORMAT-FOR-SCIENTISTS.docx

More at

https://www.isas.de/files/redaktion/jobs/2021/18.60.1_Postdoc_deNBI_06_21_AS.pdf

https://www.isas.de/en/news/062021-post-doctoral-position-scientist-mfd-in-bioinformatics

A full-time post-doctoral position for a bioinformatician with experience in managing and analyzing NGS data is available in the Laboratory of Molecular Cardiology at Policlinico San Donato-IRCCS, Milan, Italy. For lab publications, see: http://scholar.google.it/citations?user=wAPKO9wAAAAJ&hl=it&oi=ao

https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Fabio_Martelli

The goal of the project is investigating the regulation and functional role of non coding RNAs in tissue response to hypoxia and ischemia.

We are looking for a candidate that is going to interact with biologists and bioinformaticians to manage and analyze NGS data (mostly RNA-seq) and microarray data.

The successful candidate must have a minimum of 3 years experience in dealing with NGS data, a good command of English and written communication and at least 2 relevant publications as first author in peer reviewed international journals. The candidate is expected to interact with a small international group and to be able also to work independently. Knowledge of programming is a definitive plus, as well as a good statistical background and/or wet molecular biology skills.

Salary is proportional to experience and to the publication record (up to 38 000euro/year before taxes and retirement contribution i.e. IRPEF and INPS).

Please, send your CV by e-mail to Fabio Martelli:

fabio.martelli@grupposandonato.it

Location: Laboratory of Molecular Cardiology at Policlinico San Donato-IRCCS, Milan, Italy.
Link: https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Fabio_Martelli
Contact person: Fabio Martelli
Contact email: fabio.martelli@grupposandonato.it