BOL: Related items

Life of BI !!!

Jitendra Narayan — Thu, 22 Aug 2013 16:13:36 -0500

Hmm .. Don't worry you read it right .. this is not pi but bi ... "life of Bioinformatician(BI)".

Disclaimer: This cartoon is solely designed to create humour and fun, not to offend any PI, supervisor or student.

Bioinformatics definitions and applications !!!

Jit — Thu, 12 Sep 2013 15:04:36 -0500

There have been long discussion amongst several specialized/expert educator regarding bioinformatics arena, but everyone explain bioinformatics with their own view. I tried to explain it with a cartoon. Hope you all will like it.

Computer experts in biotechnology laboratory

Jit — Wed, 04 Dec 2013 02:11:43 -0600

Only bioinformatician can understand that multiplication and division are different but same thing :)

Disclaimer: This cartoon is solely designed to create humour and fun, not to offend any computer experts.

Bioinformatician needs ten heads !!!

Jitendra Narayan — Sat, 17 Aug 2013 10:30:45 -0500

Bioinformatics demands more and ... lots more knowledge. In this case Ravan, a mythological character from the Ramayan, can only be a real bioinformatician. :) :P

Ancestor at work !!!

Jit — Sun, 25 Aug 2013 19:45:28 -0500

When they will learn Bioinformatics :)

BioGeek Fun

Jit — Sun, 16 Mar 2014 06:33:31 -0500

1. A futuristic computational biology student was told to write "It is in my gene!!!" on the board 100 times as a punishment. here's his response -

use warnings;
for ($count=1; $count <=100; $count++) { print "It is in my gene!!!";}

I guess, he is gonna to be a real biogeek. Nice try though. Smart kid.

2. In some perl script I found this
. . . . . .
. . . . . .
# It works for me, only God understood how it is working
while (/(<\/[^>]+>)|(<[^>]+>)|(<[^>]+>)$|([^><]+)/go) {
            $startGene=$1;
            $beginChromosome=$2;

. . . . . .
.. . . . . .
}

3. One more interesting message in Perl found …. It will must tickle you bone :)
open(my $fh, "<", "gene.txt") or kill " Me if you think this is a mistake :$!";

4. From the Perl

while () { # "The Mothership Connection is here!"
print “$_\n”; # Printing the offspring :)

5. Perl message
if ($1) { print “Just found a the error in chromosome !!!, yahoo…”; else { “That is not error, but mutation you moron!”;

6. One genome database curator walk in wine bar asked the bartender:
CREATE TABLE gene IF NOT EXISTS SexOnTheBeach;

Bioinformatician kidnaped !!!

Rahul Nayak — Thu, 17 Oct 2013 05:10:23 -0500

Some fish kidnaped a bioinformatician for their genome analysis.

Golden Rules of Bioinformatics

Jitendra Narayan — Wed, 14 Aug 2013 21:11:33 -0500

All constant are variable.
Copy and paste is a genetic error.
First solve the problem, then write the code.
No matter what goes wrong, it will probably look right.
Any simple problem can be insoluble if enough metting are held to discuss it. :P
Stastics is a systematic method of comming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
Bug is a undocumented feature in programming languages.
Good biological programmer goes on summer holiday with raincoat. [because see 1]
Thanks god Google know python is not a python and multiplication and division are the same thing.
Don' be clever, complex biology will trick you.

Bioinformatics Jokes !!

Jitendra Prajapati — Fri, 21 Aug 2015 01:26:54 -0500

Why was the Bioinformatics fired from his job?

A: He was getting too Sassy.

What did the bioinformatician say when he found out his team stopped using version control?

A: Y’all better Git!

Why did the computational biologist stay home from work?

A: He had a code!

Why was the bioinformatician's paper was rejected?

A: Journal thought it seemed scripted.

How can you tell that a Bioinformatics is working?

A: You can hear him Grunting!

Why bioinformatician always silence?

A: Because bioinformatician calmly whisper, “SSH”

Why was the bioinformatician always so sleepy?

A: He/She wasn’t given any Java.

Why did the program/software hanged?

A: Because genome float.

Why was the class upset that its parent died?

A: Because it wouldn’t be getting the inheritance!

Why did bioinformatician always works on the command line?

A: Because they don't want to scare you with huge amount of data!

Why did the bioinformatician attend the gay pride parade?

A: They supported polymorphism.

Why did bioinformatician prefer awk, PerlOneliner?

A: Because even computer can't handle to load the data.

Why don’t bioinformatician get along with others?

A: They’re too MEAN.

Why computational biologist are cool?

A: Because they are scripted!!

Why they talk $ unzip; strip; touch; finger; grep; mount; fsck; more; yes; fsck; fsck; umount; clean; sleep;

A: Ah, Ohhh, dude, these are *NIX commands

Did they really hack genome?

A: Yes, I guess so.

Bioinformatician on Valentine's Day

BioQueen — Sun, 14 Feb 2021 11:36:32 -0600

Once asked to a bioinformatician "How is ur Valentine's Day?"

Bioinformatician replied:
if ($date == "Valentine's Day" && $me =! Bioinformatician) {
rose_day(); promise_day(); kiss_day();
}
else {
hack_genome(); ko-fi(); youtube(); do_scripting(); sleep();
)