BOL: Related items

Computer experts in biotechnology laboratory

Jit — Wed, 04 Dec 2013 02:11:43 -0600

Only bioinformatician can understand that multiplication and division are different but same thing :)

Disclaimer: This cartoon is solely designed to create humour and fun, not to offend any computer experts.

Faculty Positions at CENTRAL UNIVERSITY OF PUNJAB, BATHINDA

Wed, 22 Oct 2014 10:45:37 -0500

Advertisement No. T/NT-01 (2014)

Faculty Positions
The Central University of Punjab (CUP), Bathinda will be having the Schools and Departments as given in Table-I. The University invites applications from eligible candidates for the posts of Professors (Pay Band Rs. 37400-67000 with AGP of Rs. 10, 000/-), Associate Professors (Pay Band Rs.37400-67000 with AGP of Rs. 9,000/-) and Assistant Professors (Pay Band Rs.15600-39100 with AGP of Rs. 6,000/-)

POSITION AVAILABLE IN THE AREA OF SPECIALIZTION

3. Bioinformatics,

Procedure to apply: Application forms along with API form complete in all respect along with necessary documents and application fee of Rs. 750/-. (Rs. 250/- for Scheduled Caste/Scheduled Tribe/Person with disabilities) should be sent to:

Registrar (Officiating)
Central University of Punjab
City Campus, Mansa Road
Bathinda-151 001

Application forms from the prospective candidates are accepted upto November 10, 2014.

Based on the qualification of the candidates and the need of the university, the applications received will be processed through appropriately constituted selection committees shortly. Minimum qualification can be relaxed in case of exceptionally outstanding candidate. For further details visit www.cup.ac.in; www.centralunipunjab.com; www.cup.edu.in

The candidate should download the application form available at website www.cup.ac.in;
www.centralunipunjab.com; and submit it complete in all respects on or before 10th November 2014.

Those who have applied earlier need to submit Academic Performance Index (API) form, 5 copies of Summary of the Application Form (available at: www.cup.ac.in; www.centralunipunjab.com and Updated CV if not updated recently (without application fee).

http://cup.edu.in/Faculty_details_and_general_instructions.pdf

http://cup.edu.in/Final%20Application%20and%20summary%20Sheet%20and%20Api%20form.pdf

JRF in Bioinformatics @ Bioinformatics Centre, North-Eastern Hill University

Thu, 06 Nov 2014 10:24:05 -0600

Applications with complete bio-data are invited for JRF (3) and Project Assistant (1) in a DBT project "Next Generation Sequencing (NGS)-based de novo assembly of expressed transcripts and genome information of Orchids in North-East India" sanctioned for a period of 3 years.

Details are available at www.nehu.ac.in and www.bicnehu.ac.in.

Applications must reach the undersigned within 15 days from the date of publication of this advertisement.

Prof. Pramod Tandon. PI/Mr. Devendra Kumar Biswal (Co-PI)

Bioinformatics Jokes !!

Jitendra Prajapati — Fri, 21 Aug 2015 01:26:54 -0500

Why was the Bioinformatics fired from his job?

A: He was getting too Sassy.

What did the bioinformatician say when he found out his team stopped using version control?

A: Y’all better Git!

Why did the computational biologist stay home from work?

A: He had a code!

Why was the bioinformatician's paper was rejected?

A: Journal thought it seemed scripted.

How can you tell that a Bioinformatics is working?

A: You can hear him Grunting!

Why bioinformatician always silence?

A: Because bioinformatician calmly whisper, “SSH”

Why was the bioinformatician always so sleepy?

A: He/She wasn’t given any Java.

Why did the program/software hanged?

A: Because genome float.

Why was the class upset that its parent died?

A: Because it wouldn’t be getting the inheritance!

Why did bioinformatician always works on the command line?

A: Because they don't want to scare you with huge amount of data!

Why did the bioinformatician attend the gay pride parade?

A: They supported polymorphism.

Why did bioinformatician prefer awk, PerlOneliner?

A: Because even computer can't handle to load the data.

Why don’t bioinformatician get along with others?

A: They’re too MEAN.

Why computational biologist are cool?

A: Because they are scripted!!

Why they talk $ unzip; strip; touch; finger; grep; mount; fsck; more; yes; fsck; fsck; umount; clean; sleep;

A: Ah, Ohhh, dude, these are *NIX commands

Did they really hack genome?

A: Yes, I guess so.

Bpipe - a tool for running and managing bioinformatics pipelines

Radha Agarkar — Sat, 21 May 2016 22:42:16 -0500

Bpipe provides a platform for running big bioinformatics jobs that consist of a series of processing stages - known as 'pipelines'.

January 20th, 2016 - New! Bpipe 0.9.9 released!
Download latest, all
Documentation
Mailing List (Google Group)

Bpipe has been published in Bioinformatics! If you use Bpipe, please cite:

Sadedin S, Pope B & Oshlack A, Bpipe: A Tool for Running and Managing Bioinformatics Pipelines, Bioinformatics

Address of the bookmark: http://docs.bpipe.org/

Bioinformatician needs ten heads !!!

Jitendra Narayan — Sat, 17 Aug 2013 10:30:45 -0500

Bioinformatics demands more and ... lots more knowledge. In this case Ravan, a mythological character from the Ramayan, can only be a real bioinformatician. :) :P

A Brief Introduction to Genetics

Wed, 28 Aug 2013 06:49:38 -0500

A Brief Introduction to Genetics is a short documentary film that explores the history of genetics & genomics and the underlying concepts that provide the foundational knowledge that today's research is built upon. The film describes the history of genetics, from Gregor Mendel, to concepts such as DNA and the genetic code. Having introduced the fundamental ideas of genetics, the film moves on to describe the current techniques used to study genetics. Finally, the film explores the connection of these core concepts to genomics and bioinformatics.

Bioinformatics Head (Bioinformatics Manager III), Cancer Genomics Research Laboratory at Frederick National Laboratory

Wed, 18 Aug 2021 00:19:48 -0500

Frederick National Laboratory seeking an enthusiastic, creative, and seasoned bioinformatics professional to join our leadership team and direct the exceptional Bioinformatics Group at the Cancer Genomics Research Laboratory (CGR). CGR has a diverse team of bioinformatics and computational scientists that support all areas of bioinformatics and data analysis (infrastructure, data QC, pipeline development and maintenance, data curation and sharing, methodology development, statistical analyses, machine learning approaches, and scientific interpretation).

More at https://leidosbiomed.csod.com/ats/careersite/jobdetails.aspx?site=4&c=leidosbiomed&id=2040

A Bioinformatician’s Lament

LEGE — Thu, 29 May 2025 01:33:31 -0500

"I have a presentation tomorrow," they say,

With hopeful eyes, like it’s all child's play.
As if results bloom overnight, full-grown—
Not wrangled from chaos, and error-prone.

Oh brave soul, sit, let’s walk through the tale,
Of pipelines broken and servers that fail.
The journey starts: “The data? It’s there—
Just fetch it from S3, easy, I swear.”

Now I summon awscli with dread,
Reset my keys, credentials fed.
Configure regions, IAM roles too—
All this, and still no peek at the view.

Next up, the tool: “It’s open source!”
On GitHub, rotting, no sign of remorse.
Python 2.7, some GCC trick—
The install alone might make you sick.

Finally, progress! The pipeline runs…
Till RAM collapses and error stuns.
Oh, and the metadata? A crime,
Merged cells, font soup, out of time.

Sample IDs—what a cryptic game:
Sample_1, S1, sample-1... the same?
Controls mislabeled, cases flipped,
No wonder my sanity's starting to slip.

Then QC plots, PCA joy—
Wait, that’s a tumor labeled as a boy?
Clusters cross, and axes lie,
And I still don’t know which sample’s "guy."

But the clock ticks on, and it’s half-past doom,
They want the final UMAP soon.
With pastel colors, labeled clear—
"Can we move that legend to right here?"

Tweak by tweak, I adjust each frame,
Resize Panel B, annotate a name.
Export the plot—it starts to gleam…
Then my laptop crashes. I scream.

This is the grind, the long-haul game,
Where science hides behind code and flame.
No “Export to Nature” button to press,
Just toil and logic and hope for success.

So next time you whisper that fated line—
“I have a talk, can you make it shine?”
Know: bioinformatics is craft, not a click,
It’s science with scars, not just a quick fix.

To all who debug at 3AM light,
Who ghostwrite figures through sleepless night—
You are the backbone, silent and true,
First-author-worthy, if only they knew.

"कल मेरी प्रेज़ेंटेशन है," वो कहते हैं,

आशा भरी आँखों से, जैसे सब सहज है।
जैसे परिणाम रातोंरात प्रकट हो जाएं—
ना कि डेटा की भूलभुलैया से उखाड़े जाएं।

आओ बैठो, एक किस्सा सुनाता हूँ,
जहाँ पाइपलाइन टूटती है, और सर्वर भी थक जाते हैं।
कहानी शुरू होती है: “डेटा तो है—
बस S3 बकेट में, एकदम पास में कहीं।”

अब awscli बुलाता हूँ डरते हुए,
कुंजी सेट करूँ, क्रेडेंशियल जोड़ूं, रीजन भरूँ।
इतनी मशक्कत, फिर भी डेटा नहीं मिला,
बस सेटअप में ही पूरा दिन चला।

फिर आता है टूल: “ओपन-सोर्स है!”
GitHub पर है, 2019 से सूखा पड़ा है।
Python 2.7 चाहिए, एक पुराना कम्पाइलर,
और साथ में थोड़ी सी दुआ की ताकत।

आख़िरकार टूल चला, खुशी सी हुई,
लेकिन रन करते ही, मेमोरी ने हार मानी।
और मेटाडेटा? एक एक्सेल की आफ़त,
मर्ज़ किए हुए सेल, बस और क्या चाहिए काफ़ियत?

सैंपल आईडी? बस भगवान ही जाने—
Sample_1, sample-1, S1, और control1—
ये सब एक ही सैंपल हैं क्या?
पता तब चलता है जब पूछो दो-तीन बार।

काउंट मैट्रिक्स तैयार, अब R या Python की बारी,
QC करो, PCA प्लॉट—पर कुछ गड़बड़ भारी।
ट्यूमर और नॉर्मल का अदला-बदली खेल,
बार-बार, वही पुरानी झमेल।

आख़िर में आया मॉडलिंग का समय,
स्टैट्स, प्लॉट्स, डिफरेंशियल एक्सप्रेशन का श्रम।
लेकिन घड़ी में 5 बज चुके हैं जनाब,
और 8 बजे तक UMAP चाहिए, साफ़-सुथरा जबाब।

तो मैं कोड लिखता हूँ रात भर बैठ कर,
कलर पैलेट, जीन लेबल, लीजेंड बाहर रख कर।
फ़ॉन्ट, पैनल, एक्सिस सब सुधार,
एक्सपोर्ट करता हूँ... और लैपटॉप कहता है—"अब नहीं यार!"

इसीलिए बायोइन्फॉर्मेटिक्स में लगता है समय,
ये “बस सीरत चलाओ” या “वोल्कैनो प्लॉट बनाओ” नहीं है।
ये है सिस्टम एडमिन का काम, डेटा की सफ़ाई,
QC, डिबगिंग, और सांइस की सच्ची लड़ाई।

तो कुछ सीखें इस व्यथा से आप भी आज:
24 घंटे पहले चमत्कार मत माँगिए।
अच्छे फ़िगर साफ़ डेटा से बनते हैं।
बायोइन्फॉर्मेटिक्स जादू नहीं, विज्ञान है।
समय से बात कीजिए, प्रक्रिया का सम्मान कीजिए।

और उन सभी बायोइन्फॉर्मेटिशियनों को सलाम,
जो दूसरों की प्रेज़ेंटेशन के लिए रातों में जागते हैं—
तुम हो फ़िगर्स के भूत लेखक,
तुम हो बिना नाम के सह-लेखक।
तुम पहले लेखक बनने के हक़दार हो—
और एक लंबी नींद के भी।

Note: Written with the help of AI/LLM Tools !

When NGS gives you more data than you ever asked for!

BioStar — Wed, 23 Sep 2026 10:16:43 -0500