BOL: Related items

A Bioinformatician’s Lament

LEGE — Thu, 29 May 2025 01:33:31 -0500

"I have a presentation tomorrow," they say,

With hopeful eyes, like it’s all child's play.
As if results bloom overnight, full-grown—
Not wrangled from chaos, and error-prone.

Oh brave soul, sit, let’s walk through the tale,
Of pipelines broken and servers that fail.
The journey starts: “The data? It’s there—
Just fetch it from S3, easy, I swear.”

Now I summon awscli with dread,
Reset my keys, credentials fed.
Configure regions, IAM roles too—
All this, and still no peek at the view.

Next up, the tool: “It’s open source!”
On GitHub, rotting, no sign of remorse.
Python 2.7, some GCC trick—
The install alone might make you sick.

Finally, progress! The pipeline runs…
Till RAM collapses and error stuns.
Oh, and the metadata? A crime,
Merged cells, font soup, out of time.

Sample IDs—what a cryptic game:
Sample_1, S1, sample-1... the same?
Controls mislabeled, cases flipped,
No wonder my sanity's starting to slip.

Then QC plots, PCA joy—
Wait, that’s a tumor labeled as a boy?
Clusters cross, and axes lie,
And I still don’t know which sample’s "guy."

But the clock ticks on, and it’s half-past doom,
They want the final UMAP soon.
With pastel colors, labeled clear—
"Can we move that legend to right here?"

Tweak by tweak, I adjust each frame,
Resize Panel B, annotate a name.
Export the plot—it starts to gleam…
Then my laptop crashes. I scream.

This is the grind, the long-haul game,
Where science hides behind code and flame.
No “Export to Nature” button to press,
Just toil and logic and hope for success.

So next time you whisper that fated line—
“I have a talk, can you make it shine?”
Know: bioinformatics is craft, not a click,
It’s science with scars, not just a quick fix.

To all who debug at 3AM light,
Who ghostwrite figures through sleepless night—
You are the backbone, silent and true,
First-author-worthy, if only they knew.

"कल मेरी प्रेज़ेंटेशन है," वो कहते हैं,

आशा भरी आँखों से, जैसे सब सहज है।
जैसे परिणाम रातोंरात प्रकट हो जाएं—
ना कि डेटा की भूलभुलैया से उखाड़े जाएं।

आओ बैठो, एक किस्सा सुनाता हूँ,
जहाँ पाइपलाइन टूटती है, और सर्वर भी थक जाते हैं।
कहानी शुरू होती है: “डेटा तो है—
बस S3 बकेट में, एकदम पास में कहीं।”

अब awscli बुलाता हूँ डरते हुए,
कुंजी सेट करूँ, क्रेडेंशियल जोड़ूं, रीजन भरूँ।
इतनी मशक्कत, फिर भी डेटा नहीं मिला,
बस सेटअप में ही पूरा दिन चला।

फिर आता है टूल: “ओपन-सोर्स है!”
GitHub पर है, 2019 से सूखा पड़ा है।
Python 2.7 चाहिए, एक पुराना कम्पाइलर,
और साथ में थोड़ी सी दुआ की ताकत।

आख़िरकार टूल चला, खुशी सी हुई,
लेकिन रन करते ही, मेमोरी ने हार मानी।
और मेटाडेटा? एक एक्सेल की आफ़त,
मर्ज़ किए हुए सेल, बस और क्या चाहिए काफ़ियत?

सैंपल आईडी? बस भगवान ही जाने—
Sample_1, sample-1, S1, और control1—
ये सब एक ही सैंपल हैं क्या?
पता तब चलता है जब पूछो दो-तीन बार।

काउंट मैट्रिक्स तैयार, अब R या Python की बारी,
QC करो, PCA प्लॉट—पर कुछ गड़बड़ भारी।
ट्यूमर और नॉर्मल का अदला-बदली खेल,
बार-बार, वही पुरानी झमेल।

आख़िर में आया मॉडलिंग का समय,
स्टैट्स, प्लॉट्स, डिफरेंशियल एक्सप्रेशन का श्रम।
लेकिन घड़ी में 5 बज चुके हैं जनाब,
और 8 बजे तक UMAP चाहिए, साफ़-सुथरा जबाब।

तो मैं कोड लिखता हूँ रात भर बैठ कर,
कलर पैलेट, जीन लेबल, लीजेंड बाहर रख कर।
फ़ॉन्ट, पैनल, एक्सिस सब सुधार,
एक्सपोर्ट करता हूँ... और लैपटॉप कहता है—"अब नहीं यार!"

इसीलिए बायोइन्फॉर्मेटिक्स में लगता है समय,
ये “बस सीरत चलाओ” या “वोल्कैनो प्लॉट बनाओ” नहीं है।
ये है सिस्टम एडमिन का काम, डेटा की सफ़ाई,
QC, डिबगिंग, और सांइस की सच्ची लड़ाई।

तो कुछ सीखें इस व्यथा से आप भी आज:
24 घंटे पहले चमत्कार मत माँगिए।
अच्छे फ़िगर साफ़ डेटा से बनते हैं।
बायोइन्फॉर्मेटिक्स जादू नहीं, विज्ञान है।
समय से बात कीजिए, प्रक्रिया का सम्मान कीजिए।

और उन सभी बायोइन्फॉर्मेटिशियनों को सलाम,
जो दूसरों की प्रेज़ेंटेशन के लिए रातों में जागते हैं—
तुम हो फ़िगर्स के भूत लेखक,
तुम हो बिना नाम के सह-लेखक।
तुम पहले लेखक बनने के हक़दार हो—
और एक लंबी नींद के भी।

Note: Written with the help of AI/LLM Tools !

The Best Bioinformatics / Computational Biology Quotes

Jit — Wed, 26 Feb 2014 17:50:59 -0600

Bioinformatician are not anti-social; We are just genome friendly.

Bioinformatician would love to change the biological world, but they won't give us the genetic code :P

If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0

The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty: it's actually have several genomes.

I'm BioGeek.

Fedup with LIPS, try God script.

Idiot, Go ahead, make my data!

Thank god, my genome just compiled.

Error message: "Out of space on genome drive:"

Shut up mobile elements, or i'll flush you out.

Never underestimate the internet bandwidth, u gotta incomplete.

Applied fuzzy logic to understand God's logic?

Warning! Overflow, delete chromosome !

Be nice to the BioGeek, for all you know they might be the next curator!

Beware of computational biologist they screw genes and protein.

Warning! Your genome is full of garbage, delete it !

Bad or missing mouse genome. Spank the cat? (Y/N)

Genome make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

Let's BLAST it.

Some genome never has transposons. It just develops random features.

Go watch CINEMA and have BLAST.

Amity University Bioinformatics Summer Program - Kolkata

eliabrodsky — Tue, 11 Jun 2019 21:27:10 -0500

Registrations are now open for the 2019 Summer Bioinformatics Training program at Amity University, Kolkata. The program will focus on introductory topics for life science students. We will review important history, topics and challenges bioinformatics can help address in the context of basic research, discovery and industry.

Read more: https://edu.t-bio.info/amity-university-summer-bioinformatics-program-registrations-are-open/

Bioinformatician stuck in wet-lab

Rahul Agarwal — Tue, 06 May 2014 12:46:56 -0500

This guide is aimed at pet bioinformaticians, and is meant to guide them towards better career development.

1. Make friends with local bioinformatics groups
2. Talk to your computing group
3. Obtain clear expectations
4. Rewrite your job description
5. Papers
6. Attend bioinformatics meetings
7. Try first, ask later

Address of the bookmark: http://biomickwatson.wordpress.com/2013/04/23/a-guide-for-the-lonely-bioinformatician/

Bioinformatics PhD / PostDoc / Job Rejection

Jit — Thu, 02 Jul 2015 08:52:46 -0500

While your PhD or PostDoc application, it is more common that you got rejected by many professors. Don't disappoint reply it calmly.

In grad school, I shared a house with three Bioinformatics PhD students. One, when he applied to a particular professor, received a letter that said, essentially, "If you are applying because you want to enrich yourself, great. If you are applying because you want a job, you should know that you won't get one." I am trying to tell you this is because if you, with a good background in Bioinformatics, are passing up opportunities, you must be a strong candidate in many areas. Enrich yourself.

So, my suggestion is take a deep breath, forgot about all. Don’t take it personally. It's been usual processes while hunting for a good lab and professor. Take is positive, I am not sure why they reject, but don't worry perhaps the lab don't deserve you. Always remember there are billions of reasons not to hire someone for projects, especially in a research sector.

My suggestion, please do not whine about how you were a great research candidate for the post, and you just can't understand why they were so stupid as to have rejected you! This feeling will not win you any points in research, community. Especially, when in todays socially connected era everyone is linked. Remember, a nice E-mail saying, "I really wished to working with you on this project and I hope we cross paths again," is all you need to send to the professor. Send a thank you note to the professor. Thank them for the time they spend to judge you. In the future, If you and the professor (of your dream) are attending a bioinformatics conference, invite him/her to lunch (please remember to pay the bill). In today evolving scientific ere, always remember to build your solid network in order to get a job of interest. Join all possible networking sites like LinkedIn, ResearchGate, Acamedia, FB for the same reason. You as a researcher always build a bridge with student/researcher/colleague/professor who have the research potential to lead in research and hire you. Just because you didn't get this project, doesn't mean there isn't another that will open up in couple of month.

Mostly, jobs that are hard to get are hard to get. Only you can decide if the continued sacrifices are worth the expected payout. If it is, keep on plowing. Build relationships. Attend conferences.

Image ref @ JaSonYa

Bioinformatician at work !!!

Neel — Wed, 20 Aug 2014 22:20:10 -0500

The busy life of a bioinformatician. Need many more hands to deal with additional job :)

Ancestor at work !!!

Jit — Sun, 25 Aug 2013 19:45:28 -0500

When they will learn Bioinformatics :)

Genetics for Fun and Profit: Andrew Hessel at TEDxVilnius

Sun, 01 Sep 2013 19:15:06 -0500

Andrew Hessel co-chairs the Bioinformatics and Biotechnology track at the Singularity University, an institution founded by futurist Ray Kurzweil and X Prize Foundation CEO Peter Diamandis, with sponsorship from world-leading organizations that include Google, Autodesk, and NASA. He is also the founder of the Pink Army Cooperative, a venture aiming to make open source personalized cancer therapies. His work has been featured in The New York Times, Futurist Magazine, H+, and Wired News. In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)

Bioinformatics Head (Bioinformatics Manager III), Cancer Genomics Research Laboratory at Frederick National Laboratory

Wed, 18 Aug 2021 00:19:48 -0500

Frederick National Laboratory seeking an enthusiastic, creative, and seasoned bioinformatics professional to join our leadership team and direct the exceptional Bioinformatics Group at the Cancer Genomics Research Laboratory (CGR). CGR has a diverse team of bioinformatics and computational scientists that support all areas of bioinformatics and data analysis (infrastructure, data QC, pipeline development and maintenance, data curation and sharing, methodology development, statistical analyses, machine learning approaches, and scientific interpretation).

More at https://leidosbiomed.csod.com/ats/careersite/jobdetails.aspx?site=4&c=leidosbiomed&id=2040

BioGeek Fun

Jit — Sun, 16 Mar 2014 06:33:31 -0500

1. A futuristic computational biology student was told to write "It is in my gene!!!" on the board 100 times as a punishment. here's his response -

use warnings;
for ($count=1; $count <=100; $count++) { print "It is in my gene!!!";}

I guess, he is gonna to be a real biogeek. Nice try though. Smart kid.

2. In some perl script I found this
. . . . . .
. . . . . .
# It works for me, only God understood how it is working
while (/(<\/[^>]+>)|(<[^>]+>)|(<[^>]+>)$|([^><]+)/go) {
            $startGene=$1;
            $beginChromosome=$2;

. . . . . .
.. . . . . .
}

3. One more interesting message in Perl found …. It will must tickle you bone :)
open(my $fh, "<", "gene.txt") or kill " Me if you think this is a mistake :$!";

4. From the Perl

while () { # "The Mothership Connection is here!"
print “$_\n”; # Printing the offspring :)

5. Perl message
if ($1) { print “Just found a the error in chromosome !!!, yahoo…”; else { “That is not error, but mutation you moron!”;

6. One genome database curator walk in wine bar asked the bartender:
CREATE TABLE gene IF NOT EXISTS SexOnTheBeach;