Bioinformatician are not anti-social; We are just genome friendly.

Bioinformatician would love to change the biological world, but they won't give us the genetic code :P

If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0

The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty: it's actually have several genomes.

I'm BioGeek.

Fedup with LIPS, try God script.

Idiot, Go ahead, make my data!

Thank god, my genome just compiled.

Error message: "Out of space on genome drive:"

Shut up mobile elements, or i'll flush you out.

Never underestimate the internet bandwidth, u gotta incomplete.

Applied fuzzy logic to understand God's logic?

Warning! Overflow, delete chromosome !

Be nice to the BioGeek, for all you know they might be the next curator!

Beware of computational biologist they screw genes and protein.

Warning! Your genome is full of garbage, delete it !

Bad or missing mouse genome. Spank the cat? (Y/N)

Genome make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

Let's BLAST it.

Some genome never has transposons. It just develops random features.

Go watch CINEMA and have BLAST.

1. Make friends with local bioinformatics groups
2. Talk to your computing group
3. Obtain clear expectations
4. Rewrite your job description
5. Papers
6. Attend bioinformatics meetings
7. Try first, ask later

Address of the bookmark: http://biomickwatson.wordpress.com/2013/04/23/a-guide-for-the-lonely-bioinformatician/

A: He was getting too Sassy.

What did the bioinformatician say when he found out his team stopped using version control?

A: Y’all better Git!

Why did the computational biologist stay home from work?

A: He had a code!

Why was the bioinformatician's paper was rejected?

A: Journal thought it seemed scripted.

How can you tell that a Bioinformatics is working?

A: You can hear him Grunting!

Why bioinformatician always silence?

A: Because bioinformatician calmly whisper, “SSH”

Why was the bioinformatician always so sleepy?

A: He/She wasn’t given any Java.

Why did the program/software hanged?

A: Because genome float.

Why was the class upset that its parent died?

A: Because it wouldn’t be getting the inheritance!

Why did bioinformatician always works on the command line?

A: Because they don't want to scare you with huge amount of data!

Why did the bioinformatician attend the gay pride parade?

A: They supported polymorphism.

Why did bioinformatician prefer awk, PerlOneliner?

A: Because even computer can't handle to load the data.

Why don’t bioinformatician get along with others?

A: They’re too MEAN.

Why computational biologist are cool?

A: Because they are scripted!!

Why they talk $ unzip; strip; touch; finger; grep; mount; fsck; more; yes; fsck; fsck; umount; clean; sleep;

A: Ah, Ohhh, dude, these are *NIX commands

Did they really hack genome?

A: Yes, I guess so.

• January 20th, 2016 - New! Bpipe 0.9.9 released!
• Download latest, all
• Documentation
• Mailing List (Google Group)

Bpipe has been published in Bioinformatics! If you use Bpipe, please cite:

Sadedin S, Pope B & Oshlack A, Bpipe: A Tool for Running and Managing Bioinformatics Pipelines, Bioinformatics

Address of the bookmark: http://docs.bpipe.org/

More at https://leidosbiomed.csod.com/ats/careersite/jobdetails.aspx?site=4&c=leidosbiomed&id=2040

People using computers were often seen
as helpers, not leaders—
useful, but not essential.

Sometimes, the criticism was direct.
Sometimes subtle.
But the message was the same—
this work doesn’t really count.

Then biology changed.
The questions became bigger,
and experiments alone
were no longer enough.

Organizing knowledge by hand worked once.
Now it needs computers—
to handle scale, speed, and complexity.

Some patterns are simply invisible
if you look at one sample.
You need many—
and the right tools to understand them.

So we started building maps—
of genomes, cells, and systems.
Not perfect,
but extremely useful.

Ideas also had to become clearer.
It’s no longer enough to say something sounds right—
you have to measure it.

The divide between “types” of biologists
never really made sense.
We are solving the same problems—
just in different ways.

Progress didn’t wait for agreement.
It moved forward with data,
with code,
and with careful analysis.

What matters now is simple:
• Biology depends on computation
• Coding is an important skill
• Statistics helps us think clearly
• And the people building these tools
are shaping the future of science

2. In some perl script I found this
 . . . . . .
 . . . . . .
# It works for me, only God understood how it is working
while (/(<\/[^>]+>)|(<[^>]+>)|(<[^>]+>)$|([^><]+)/go) {
            $startGene=$1;
            $beginChromosome=$2;
    
. . . . . .
 .. . . . . .
}

3. One more interesting message in Perl found …. It will must tickle you bone :)
open(my $fh, "<", "gene.txt")    or kill " Me if you think this is a mistake :$!";

4. From the Perl

  while () {  # "The Mothership Connection is here!"
    print “$_\n”; # Printing the offspring :)

5. Perl message
if ($1) { print “Just found a the error in chromosome !!!, yahoo…”; else { “That is not error, but mutation you moron!”;

6. One genome database curator walk in wine bar asked the bartender:
CREATE TABLE gene IF NOT EXISTS SexOnTheBeach;

Read more: https://edu.t-bio.info/amity-university-summer-bioinformatics-program-registrations-are-open/

Bioinformatician replied:

if ($date == "Valentine's Day" && $me =! Bioinformatician) {

rose_day(); promise_day(); kiss_day();

}

else {

hack_genome(); ko-fi(); youtube(); do_scripting(); sleep();

)